The stress of work can bring out the worst in people.

Under the weight of deadlines, sales goals, and one too many lattes, even the most mild-mannered person can do or say something they regret.

Usually, a quick apology will cover a misstep.

However, there are five “people” you should never work with.

I mean it. Under no circumstances should you put yourself in a work environment with these…MONSTERS.

The 5 Scariest People to Work With

vampireThe Vampire

The Vampire sucks the life out of everyone around them. In meetings, they’re the first to tell you why your ideas won’t work, without offering productive solutions. They drain the energy from a room, and are irritated by sunny dispositions. We also think they’re the ones who complained to HR about your “garlic breath.”

ghostThe Ghost

The Ghost may have seemed like a promising coworker or employee, but their potential never materialized. They’re always around, and insist on being involved in every project, but somehow never contribute anything of substance. It wouldn’t surprise us if they’re reading over your shoulder right now, in fact.

zombieThe Zombie

If allowed, the Zombie would spend all of its time brainstorming. Obsessed with feeding on new ideas, the Zombie gets distracted easily, and is slow to implement anything with measurable success. It may seem harmless, but be careful—once you’ve been bitten, you may find yourself chasing ideas with the zombie hoard.

frankensteinThe Frankenstein

The Frankenstein is a modern marvel, looking very much like an upstanding coworker or employee. Upon closer look however, you’ll realize there’s not an original bone in their body. Regurgitating well-worn business platitudes, the Frankenstein can’t utter a single thought without a reference to Steve Jobs, Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell, Dr. Stephen R. Covey, Guy Kawasaki, or even Tim Berry.

werewolfThe Werewolf

Most of the time, the Werewolf is an excellent employee. Yet far too often, their mood swings dramatically into terrifying outbursts. They’ll blame these outbursts on anything but themselves (sorry, full moons don’t happen that often). Keep the Werewolf at arms length, or you might end up a victim of the howling madness.


BONUS: The 3 Best People to Work With

superheroThe Superhero

The Superhero is one of the best people to work with. They work hard in dire situations, deflect praise, and want to make the world around them a better place. If there’s more than one Superhero on your team, get them to collaborate and the dynamic duo will be nearly unstoppable. The Superhero has great power—give them great responsibility.

wizardThe Wizard

Are you stuck on a project? Do you need a fresh perspective? The Wizard is always prepared with just what you need, precisely when you need it. The Wizard is good at many things, but they are best at communicating. The Wizard speaks with great wisdom, and by taking time to listen to them, you’ll be inspired to accomplish great things.

unicornThe Unicorn

Some say the Unicorn is a myth, but that’s just because they’re rare and hard to find. Those lucky enough to work with a Unicorn will see just how magical they are. The Unicorn innovates effortlessly, is highly productive, and always goes above and beyond what’s expected of them.


New Call-to-action

Hear more about human resources and conflict resolution with Peter and Jonathan on the thirteenth episode of The Bcast, Bplan’s official podcast (at 22:32):
Click here to subscribe to The Bcast on iTunes »

Was this article helpful?
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
Jonathan Michael

Jonathan is the Engagement Marketing Manager for Palo Alto Software, and has spent the last 9 years developing and implementing digital marketing strategies. During that time, he has learned that empathy and authenticity are strengths by which companies can effectively engage with individuals at every point throughout the customer journey.